Stories of Fantasies

[Torch_Man]

guys,

any bros got experience of ejaculating too early??
or situation such as before real bonking, we ejaculated oredi????

i shall start d ball rolling 1st:
durin my younger dys (early 20s) unsure whether due to anxious or too scare before penetration even begin, my ex gf was totally turn-off then.
later realised, its partly mental, partly technique problem.
self learn controlling skill


jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

What causes it?


For many years, sex experts have tended to say that premature ejaculation is caused by early conditioning.

In other words, the man's early, rushed (and perhaps furtive) sexual experiences had to be quick so as to avoid detection. The idea is that this conditions him to climax as quickly as possible.

However, our own surveys have found that many men with PE did not have rushed early sexual experiences – though others say they did.

It's worth noting that from an evolutionary point of view, it's probable that males who climaxed quickly were more likely to have children. In other words, if you were a caveman who came very fast, you'd stand more chance of impregnating your woman and enlarging your tribe.

Some men seem to be highly triggered right from the start of their sex lives, and we have encountered instances where their fathers were much the same. Therefore, we feel that the tendency to reach orgasm quickly may possibly be inherited rather than learned.

Finally, there's no question that anxiety or 'nerves' play a part in many cases of PE.
If you're nervous, you're likely to come too quickly.

This is why many males have discovered for themselves that a small amount of alcohol eases their nerves and makes them less likely to climax prematurely.
But we wouldn't recommend alcohol as a treatment.

So, what can be done for PE?


jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

Treatment for mild cases

If you have mild PE – for instance, you can last five minutes but would like to last 10 – there's probably no point in going to a doctor.

Why? Because you should be able to improve matters by simple distraction techniques.

This means turning your mind to something else when you sense that climax is near. For example, you can think about something totally unconcerned with sex or pinch yourself.


Local anaesthetic gel

Some men try to treat themselves with a local anaesthetic gel that's applied to the shaft of the penis shortly before intercourse.

This product is advertised to the public as a good way to 'damp down' sexual sensation in the penis.

We do not advise using this gel because the local anaesthetic can 'dull' the sex sensation for your partner.

It can also cause a distressing skin reaction in either partner, with intense itching, redness and soreness.


'Long love' condoms

German scientists have come up with a slightly different approach that won't cause vaginal irritation.

It's called the 'long love condom’ and it contains a local anaesthetic (benzocaine or lidocaine) inside it.

Long love condoms are now being sold in many countries, under a variety of brand names.

A few male patients have told us they do last longer with these condoms, but the man is still at risk of a sensitivity reaction to the local anaesthetic.



jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

Treatment for more severe cases

If PE is causing you significant problems, it is best to consult an expert for treatment.


The Masters-Johnson method

This method cures the vast majority of men, provided that both partners are keen to co-operate (which isn't always the case).

It's based on a special 'penis grip' developed by the American therapists Masters and Johnson. They employed it in a 're-education' course lasting weeks or months.

The finger-grip abolishes the desire to climax, so if, under careful instruction, the couple use it over a period of weeks, they can usually re-train the man so he can last much longer.


What does it involve?
- Your partner places her hand so that her thumb is on one side of the man's erect penis (the nearer side to her when she is facing him).
- Her index and middle fingers are on the other side.
- The index finger is just above the ridge of the glans (the 'head'), while the middle finger is just below the ridge.
- When the man feels that he's near to a climax, he tells his partner.
- She then squeezes his shaft firmly between her thumb and the other two fingers. (Don't worry: it's painless!)

The programme and the grip can work for male couples as well as for heterosexual ones.


Does it work?

We have seen many men with PE who couldn't last for 30 seconds, but who were able to last as long as half an hour after careful training over a period of months.

However, unless this is done as part of an organised programme, it probably won't work. We often hear from guys who tried to do it themselves, and achieved nothing.

The Masters and Johnson grip really needs to be demonstrated to you personally by an expert. Most couples who try to learn it from the Internet or a book get it wrong.

Our advice: see a professional.


jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

Antidepressant drugs

In recent years, it has also proved possible to treat PE with antidepressant drugs taken a few hours before intercourse. The group that are mainly used for this purpose are the SSRIs (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors).

The use of these drugs may seem a little odd, but delaying male climax is a well-known side-effect of certain antidepressants. For most men, that side-effect is unwanted. But for guys with premature ejaculation, it's highly desirable.

Antidepressants that are commonly used for this purpose include clomipramine (Anafranil), fluoxetine (Prozac) and sertraline (Lustral).

But please be warned: these are powerful drugs that can last a long time in the body, and have a considerable list of potential side-effects.

Before opting for one of them, talk it over carefully with your doctor.

In many countries antidepressants are now sold illegally in bars and on the street as 'last-longer pills'. We really do not recommend buying antidepressants in this casual fashion.

Antidepressants are prescription-only drugs, with a potential for causing you harm. If you want to try them for premature ejaculation, make an appointment to see your GP.


Drugs by nasal inhalation

At the end of 2008,
there was a good deal of controversy in Europe because a company started using large advertisement hoardings to promote its treatment for PE: a nose spray.

In fact, the only point of the spray is to deliver a drug into the bloodstream more quickly than could be achieved through taking it by mouth.

The drug which is mainly being used in these new nose sprays is clomipramine – which, as we have mentioned above, is an antidepressant.

There have also been reports since 2009 of sex clinics suggesting the use of the major painkiller tramadol in a nose spray.

This does not strike us as a good idea, in view of the drug's side-effects which include mental confusion and abdominal pain.

Tramadol is related to morphine, and is widely misused by people with drug problems. It is habit-forming.


jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

A special constriction device

In 2000, a clinical trial of a new technique for treating premature ejaculation was published in the medical press.

It was developed at St George's Hospital, London, and involved wearing a slightly constricting ring below the head of the penis for 30 minutes each day. The theory was it would make the organ less sensitive.

Unfortunately, at the present time the inventors of the device have not been able to publish any results of large scale trials.

Don't attempt any constriction techniques like this off your own bat. Such a method should only be prescribed by an expert at a sexual problem clinic. It may or may not turn out to be useful.


Another new device

The 'Boots Pharmaceuticals Delay Device' is an invention that was first revealed in the UK in 2004. It went on the British market in 2011.

It's a battery-powered vibrating silicone ring which is designed to be worn just under the head of the penis.

The idea is that it causes continuous stimulation to a highly-sensitive area of the penis, thereby de-sensitising it.

Boots recommend that it is used in conjunction with the Masters-Johnson 'stop-start' technique. Currently, it retails for around £15.


Release of a new medication

At a medical conference we attended in December 2004, it was announced that a new anti-PE medication should be launched during 2005.

However, it was not until 2010 that it was finally released for use in the UK – and even now it is available only on a very limited basis, and NOT on the Health Service.

But in recent months it has become widely available in Scandinavia, Australia and Malaysia.

The product is a tablet called dapoxetine. Its UK trade name is Priligy.

Essentially, it one of the 'SSRI' group of antidepressants – which, as noted above, do have the ability to lengthen the time between sexual arousal and climax. It is taken by mouth, in tablet form. The dose is either 30 mg or 60 mg. Dosage depends mainly on your body weight.

Please understand that Priligy is NOT a pill which will actually cure PE.

The idea is that you simply take it a couple of hours before you intend to have intercourse. With luck, you will last a good deal longer that day.

But of course, you will need to take another Priligy tablet before your next sexual encounter.

Newspaper reports appearing in Britain in late 2010 suggested that it helps 70 per cent of males.

Unfortunately, the trial results we've seen so far suggest that in fact only about 45 per cent of men reported that the drug gave them control that was 'fair, good or very good'.

Possible side-effects of dapoxetine include dizziness, nausea, insomnia, headaches and diarrhoea.

However, if you have bad PE, Priligy (which may be the first of various such products) would probably be worth trying when it becomes available in your part of the world.

In the UK in 2011, the situation is that Priligy is NOT available from your GP or on the NHS. Some private doctors prescribe it. You can obtain it via the internet, but you should have an online 'consultation' with a doctor first.

At present, it is extremely expensive, costing £85 to £95 for just three tablets. Obviously, this works out at about £30 every time you want to make love.


jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

Cognitive behaviour treatment (stop-start technique)

In 2006, we attended a conference on sexual medicine in Vienna. One of the speakers, Dr Mehmet Sungur, claimed good results for the cognitive behaviour (CBT) method of treatment for PE.

The CBT method focuses on addressing the kind of thinking that has proved unhelpful.

For example, a man may believe that ‘real men’ must thrust endlessly to give a woman pleasure. Such thinking is not only damaging to the man, but wrong. Most women want penetration but also derive great pleasure from love play – often preferring fondling and oral sex to intercourse.

The CBT method also aims to alter the man’s behaviour: he is encouraged to masturbate using the stop-start technique to gain more control over his responses and his urge to ejaculate quickly.


The stop-start technique:
1. The man is encouraged to masturbate alone.
2. He is asked to set time aside to be private and to masturbate with dry hands.
3. The man is encouraged to masturbate almost to the point of ejaculation and then stop.
4. He should do this three times.
5. On the fourth time, he is permitted to ejaculate.

After he has achieved this measure of control, he can try masturbating with a wet hand, which will feel more like the inside of a vagina. He is encouraged to do the stop-start technique as before.

Obviously, this technique could possibly be adopted by a man who does not seek treatment from a therapist.

But because there are often psychological difficulties as well as behavioural and mechanical ones, most men will benefit more from seeking treatment rather than using the stop-start technique on their own.



jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

folks,

hw did u find d Premature ejaculation (PE) topic???
enlightening??
educational??
silly??
unheard of??
or any other comments??

do feel free to comment............


for my upcomin title, it will b:
Having a great sex life – the importance of communication


jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

WHEN 3 PEOPLE HAVE SEX,
ITS CALLED A THREESOME.

WHEN 2 PEOPLE HAVE SEX,
ITS CALLED A TWOSOME.

NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY
THEY CALL YOU

HANDSOME!!!



jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

This section is intended to help you have a great sex life – and a safe one.


It's important to remember that sex carries with it some real dangers, notably:
- unwanted pregnancy
- sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
- occasionally, cancer
- sometimes, severe emotional distress.


On the other hand, sex brings enormous satisfaction: comfort and happiness to millions of people.


So, we want you to be able to enjoy its benefits, whether you're 18 or 80.


But whatever your age group, we'd like to stress to you that the key to a safe and rewarding sexual relationship with another person is communication.


For centuries, people haven't communicated about sex!
ONLY recent years, they just 'did it', and hoped for the best.


Very often, things went wrong and one or other partner ended up feeling frustrated and bitter. These days, things are rapidly changing. It's now possible to communicate quite frankly with your partner about sexual matters – so it's easy to work together to make everything more fulfilling, and safer too.


We'll try and show you how you can communicate, and keep yourself safe, throughout the various age groups of your life.



jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

In your teenage years

The teenage years are not an easy time – especially if you don't know much about sex.

Many people, both male and female, feel highly sexed at this time. In particular, males are likely to feel a desperate need to have climaxes.

Among teenage boys, the average number of orgasms per week is higher in this age group, than it is at any other period of life.


Masturbation

For a lot of teenagers, the answer to this burgeoning desire is to masturbate.

This is particularly so in boys, most of whom masturbate a great deal during the teen years.

The important thing to realise is that this is perfectly normal. We can assure you that if you consult medical textbooks,
you'll find that – contrary to what many young people imagine – there's no disease or health problem that can be caused by masturbation.

It's a totally harmless activity that relieves frustration and
helps you relax and sleep well.

Most importantly, masturbation is virtually the only form of sexual activity that can't give you a sexually transmitted infection!

Also, it can't make anyone pregnant. So, it's a safe form of sex.


Orientation

During the mid-teenage years, the subject of sexual orientation begins to rear its head.

In other words:
- are you 'straight' (heterosexual)?
- are you gay?
- are you bisexual?

Our advice to you on this topic is simple. Don't let anyone 'railroad' you into any decisions. Your parents, and other adults, will almost invariably expect you to be 'straight'. But that might not be the right solution for you.

So, if you have any uncertainties about your orientation, talk to your friends about it, provided you feel that they will respect your confidence.

Don't hesitate to go and consult experienced advisors.

Above all, take your time, and don't be rushed.
Many people don't decide on their sexual orientation until they're well past 20.



jz sharin,

[MarkNgSiongBoon]

bro pm with your nick i up u back

[Torch_Man]

Virginity


At some time in your teens, you're probably going to feel that you should make a decision about losing your virginity.

At present the average age for first having sex is about 18. But again, please don't be rushed into this – for instance, by 'peer pressure' (in other words, pressure from friends, classmates and others of your age).

There's nothing dreadful about deciding to postpone sexual intercourse for a while!

By putting it off, you achieve the following:
- you protect yourself against STIs
- you avoid any risk of pregnancy
- if you're a girl, you reduce the risk of getting cancer of the cervix.


So, before you decide to embark on your first sexual relationship, think things over and obtain as much information as you can about the benefits and the dangers of sex.

Please remember that it's well known that teenagers who are poorly educated about sexual matters are more likely to have unwanted pregnancies!

Very importantly, when you first meet someone that you really want to have sex with – do talk over the possibilities with them.
Discuss whether you should postpone intercourse for a while.


Remember: there's a great deal of pretty harmless pleasure to be had from kissing and petting.


Incidentally, don't fall into the common trap of deciding to have your first sexual experience, whilst you're under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

You shouldn't be making this vital decision, while your brain is effected with alcohol or drugs.

When you do decide to have sex for the first time, make sure that it's safe sex.

Remember two simple facts:
- these days, there are many STIs around, particularly chlamydia
- large numbers of teenage girls are still getting pregnant, despite the Government's attempts to reduce the teen pregnancy rate.

We strongly recommend that you and your partner agree to use condoms to begin with.

There's nothing wrong with the other methods of contraception, but they don't protect you against STIs.



jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

folks,

any comments on:
great sex life – the importance of communication



jz sharin,

[Torch_Man]

In your 20s

As people move into their 20s, there's a strong tendency for people to start forming a relationship.

Occasionally, these relationships last a lifetime. But we have to be realistic and say that mostly they don't.

So, try not to be heartbroken if your relationship only goes on for a few months, or even a few weeks.

At the moment, that's how the world is. And don't expect sexual miracles. Both of you are likely to be 'feeling your way' – literally!

So, there may be difficulties in bed, with sex turning out to be not as brilliant as you'd hoped.

In particular:
- the young woman may have difficulty in having an orgasm
- she may find sex uncomfortable
- the couple may well find it impossible to synchronise their climaxes
- the young man may ejaculate far too soon
- he may not be able to get a get a good enough erection to achieve satisfactory intercourse – or he may 'lose it' half way through.

The most important thing when trying to cope with all these difficulties is to talk about them.

Discuss your needs or frustrations with your partner.

And if necessary, seek help from really useful organisations.

Finally, a word of caution:
during the early years of this century, 'one-night stands' have become almost routine for many people who are in their 20s.

This applies to females as well as males.

And although the idea of a one-night stand is superficially attractive, the fact is that it's madness.

If you do it a few times, you'll almost certainly catch chlamydia or something worse. And there's of course a high chance of an unwanted pregnancy, perhaps with no one knowing who the father is.

No wonder that sales of the morning-after pill (post-coital pill) are soaring.......


jz sharin,