Does this counts as cheating on my husband?

[Dustingalaxy]

A bit of background story. I’m below 30 and married. We have no kids. I wouldn’t say we are out of love with each other nor we don’t have sex. We still do and it’s quite satisfactory or great at times.

Before I met my husband, I caught my ex chatting up with girls on WeChat. I did not blame him as due to my job I cannot be there for him all the time. I told myself I will shut both eyes unless I catch him in bed with someone. How silly love makes one behave huh?

But one fine day, my ex told me. He almost bedded a girl while they were out for drinks. That woke me up and decided to call off the marriage. Lots of money went down the drain. But then again what’s money verse marrying the wrong man?

After years of being attached, I decided to use tinder. I went with an open mind. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, ONS, or whatsoever. Let’s see what things can lead to.

I swiped right to my husband. Thinking hey this guy looks a bit guai lan. But what’s there to lose since we are just here for chat right?

[capteiji]

Camping....

[tnkaki]

Originally Posted by capteiji

Camping....

During my young days I was basically studying and workings all the time, I had very little time for social interacts with girls or maybe I am those shy type. After married, I still spent many hours on upgrading,on my works, overtime, working on Sat & Sunday. After I getting more stable, I found out my daily life are so boring & very routine. So same like u I started to chat at apps and my life is getting more exciting and looking forwards each day. To me I indeed felt cheating to my wife but I still love her and try to provide all the things she needed but she is not those out door type of girl as for me I love outdoor activities more. I found another kind of life thru apps and I more happy now.

[TheDriverGuy]

+1 more camper

[koitea]

Each of us would have different way of defining what is cheating or the threshold of falling into cheating case. Say you get to know an attractive co-worker of opposite gender. Is texting him/her like a soulmate considered cheating? Is having frequent late night 1to1 chillout drinks with him/her and some light physical touches on hands/shoulders considered cheating? Not to mention if sex is involved, but if this is only a ONS with a stranger and no feelings are involved?

Let's be frank, besides living the social norm of getting married/good career/becoming good homemaker etc, most (if not all) of us here joined this forum for common reason. We would like to escape the boring/monotonous life, to seek out something exciting and to fulfill the inner hidden desire that was neglected.

IMHO, if we do decide to go ahead in fulfilling that desire elsewhere other then with your other half, then we should at least do so with responsibility to prevent/minimize hurting other half's feeling, covering your tracks. More importantly, always remember that your other half/family needs you and never neglect them.

Originally Posted by Dustingalaxy

A bit of background story. I’m below 30 and married. We have no kids. I wouldn’t say we are out of love with each other nor we don’t have sex. We still do and it’s quite satisfactory or great at times.

Before I met my husband, I caught my ex chatting up with girls on WeChat. I did not blame him as due to my job I cannot be there for him all the time. I told myself I will shut both eyes unless I catch him in bed with someone. How silly love makes one behave huh?

But one fine day, my ex told me. He almost bedded a girl while they were out for drinks. That woke me up and decided to call off the marriage. Lots of money went down the drain. But then again what’s money verse marrying the wrong man?

After years of being attached, I decided to use tinder. I went with an open mind. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, ONS, or whatsoever. Let’s see what things can lead to.

I swiped right to my husband. Thinking hey this guy looks a bit guai lan. But what’s there to lose since we are just here for chat right?

[Blackenrose]

Originally Posted by koitea

Each of us would have different way of defining what is cheating or the threshold of falling into cheating case. Say you get to know an attractive co-worker of opposite gender. Is texting him/her like a soulmate considered cheating? Is having frequent late night 1to1 chillout drinks with him/her and some light physical touches on hands/shoulders considered cheating? Not to mention if sex is involved, but if this is only a ONS with a stranger and no feelings are involved?

Let's be frank, besides living the social norm of getting married/good career/becoming good homemaker etc, most (if not all) of us here joined this forum for common reason. We would like to escape the boring/monotonous life, to seek out something exciting and to fulfill the inner hidden desire that was neglected.

IMHO, if we do decide to go ahead in fulfilling that desire elsewhere other then with your other half, then we should at least do so with responsibility to prevent/minimize hurting other half's feeling, covering your tracks. More importantly, always remember that your other half/family needs you and never neglect them.

Very well said. Good advise

[graphites]

Well said.

I second this.

Originally Posted by koitea

Each of us would have different way of defining what is cheating or the threshold of falling into cheating case. Say you get to know an attractive co-worker of opposite gender. Is texting him/her like a soulmate considered cheating? Is having frequent late night 1to1 chillout drinks with him/her and some light physical touches on hands/shoulders considered cheating? Not to mention if sex is involved, but if this is only a ONS with a stranger and no feelings are involved?

Let's be frank, besides living the social norm of getting married/good career/becoming good homemaker etc, most (if not all) of us here joined this forum for common reason. We would like to escape the boring/monotonous life, to seek out something exciting and to fulfill the inner hidden desire that was neglected.

IMHO, if we do decide to go ahead in fulfilling that desire elsewhere other then with your other half, then we should at least do so with responsibility to prevent/minimize hurting other half's feeling, covering your tracks. More importantly, always remember that your other half/family needs you and never neglect them.

[thedevil666]

Originally Posted by koitea

IMHO, if we do decide to go ahead in fulfilling that desire elsewhere other then with your other half, then we should at least do so with responsibility to prevent/minimize hurting other half's feeling, covering your tracks. More importantly, always remember that your other half/family needs you and never neglect them.

This is self-fulfilling prophecy for the cheater. Put yourself into the shoes of the one being cheated. Whether he/she covered the tracks or still remembers “home” at the end of the day, a cheat is a cheat. A thief is a thief. Just bcos he steals and not caught does not mean he is not a thief.

Btw, I’m not being hypocrite. I’m a cheater myself and still cheating. I reflected this statement before, so if one day I am discovered by my other half, just have to man up and face the music.

[LordVader]

Originally Posted by thedevil666

This is self-fulfilling prophecy for the cheater. Put yourself into the shoes of the one being cheated. Whether he/she covered the tracks or still remembers “home” at the end of the day, a cheat is a cheat. A thief is a thief. Just bcos he steals and not caught does not mean he is not a thief.

Btw, I’m not being hypocrite. I’m a cheater myself and still cheating. I reflected this statement before, so if one day I am discovered by my other half, just have to man up and face the music.

There are no saints here, just 'lesser evils'.

[demonhuntress]

Originally Posted by LordVader

There are no saints here, just 'lesser evils'.

Saints always hamtam the Devils

[sohbuckkong]

Originally Posted by LordVader

There are no saints here, just 'lesser evils'.

Libido is to be blamed, not us.

[tnkaki]

IMHO, if we do decide to go ahead in fulfilling that desire elsewhere other then with your other half, then we should at least do so with responsibility to prevent/minimize hurting other half's feeling, covering your tracks. More importantly, always remember that your other half/family needs you and never neglect them.


yes bro, very well indeed, I agreed on that too.

[acidicavex]

Well Said i think they bro here summarise the whole senario to you. End of the day it is better to ask yourself that question what you really want to try or do or it just a plain fantasies.

Originally Posted by koitea

Each of us would have different way of defining what is cheating or the threshold of falling into cheating case. Say you get to know an attractive co-worker of opposite gender. Is texting him/her like a soulmate considered cheating? Is having frequent late night 1to1 chillout drinks with him/her and some light physical touches on hands/shoulders considered cheating? Not to mention if sex is involved, but if this is only a ONS with a stranger and no feelings are involved?

Let's be frank, besides living the social norm of getting married/good career/becoming good homemaker etc, most (if not all) of us here joined this forum for common reason. We would like to escape the boring/monotonous life, to seek out something exciting and to fulfill the inner hidden desire that was neglected.

IMHO, if we do decide to go ahead in fulfilling that desire elsewhere other then with your other half, then we should at least do so with responsibility to prevent/minimize hurting other half's feeling, covering your tracks. More importantly, always remember that your other half/family needs you and never neglect them.

[LiverBird8]

Originally Posted by koitea

IMHO, if we do decide to go ahead in fulfilling that desire elsewhere other then with your other half, then we should at least do so with responsibility to prevent/minimize hurting other half's feeling, covering your tracks. More importantly, always remember that your other half/family needs you and never neglect them.

Guys think in this manner to lessen our guilt and justify that we are still a good husband/father.

Girls definitely don't buy this argument.

Just sharing my views and I'm not a saint myself..

[FS14148]

It's just the realistic of life, there are things we want/need but unable to do/get it due to real life situations' restriction, we can't always live as we wish, bopian one.... 🙄😑