Would you mind abt your gf's 'colourful' history?

[remote]

Hi all,
I was with my best buddy just now listening to his problem with his current gf (whom i shall named her as 'Mouse') whom he is very serious in marrying her.......until she told him abt some 'colourful' history of her cos she cant bear to hide it from him any longer.

After hearing from him, indeed his gf does have a very 'colourful' history which r....well.....hmmm...a few ONS, a couple of FB n above all...involved with a married man which disturbed him the most;

The story

'Mouse' and this married man r co-workers and despite 'Mouse' knew of his status, she still decided to go out with him as a friend n from friends they become FB until thing got so serious they decided to go into BGR....n yes...this man is still married.
Things r pretty spicy with them...overseas trips, regular 'visitor' at the infamous ECP carpark and she even went on pills so he can cum inside her.

Until 1 day, they r caught by the wife's friend at a shopping mall...photo was taken i heard. Just like normal couple, they do show affection openly.
Despite the wife's confrontation....things between 'Mouse' & married man did not halt just that they cut down on meeting up.
The wife did called 'Mouse' and confront her but well....i guess the wife's word fell on deaf ears.
What i heard is that this married man does have the intention to divorce the wife long time ago but due to $$$ issue, he is holding back until he cleared the debts he owned to his wife.

News spread to the office but both of them act like nothing had happened....phew...i really take my hat off them!

What disappoint my buddy most is that 'Mouse' and this married man were so serious in their BGR, they actually got the intention to get marry right after the divorce n guess 'Mouse' was naive at that time so she waited...days become months n months become a year without any conclusion.

Eventually, she grew impatient and broke up with him but couple of wks later...she called him n beg him back but he decided to call it quits too and devoted himself to his wife. The wife is very graceful enough to forgive n forget.

So people....what do u think? What should my frd do? I really stunned when he told me everything cos his gf look really decent but looks can really be deceiving in this case.
I can only console him saying its the past, look forward to the future but given my understanding of him, i think it really bother him alot. Just imagine the girl of your dream had so much histories before....the ONS, FBs n scandal.....i would be dumbfounded too if i were him.
BTW, did i mentioned that 'Mouse' and the married man got a age gap of 16 yrs??

[old_uncle]

Just my personal opinion: it is should be ok if your friend can forget about the history, which I am in doubt a lot. Secondly, who can be sure the history will not repeat itself in the future. it is said that you can move 3 (or any) mountains but you cannot change one inherent character.

[Snuber]

Well, tell your fren this

Who doesn't have a past?
The past cannot be changed, but your fren can mould a nice future with her provided BOTH parties are willing to work at that. If your fren cant take the girl's past, then it's better to let go of this r/s as it will always be at the back of his mind. Someday, it will just burst out during 1 of their arguments.

Another point is, if the girl is not serious about your fren, she also wont be so truthful abt it. The truth hurts, but hearing it from the horse's mouth direct beats hearing her past from another person rite......

Age gap is not a strong reason in any r/s. It's the chemistry.......

[Xgenre]

These words come to mind.

If you want to keep me in the dark, please let me be ignorant forever. If you want to declare your colourful past, please do so before I fall deeply in love with you. Want to get married already then you tell me all these... Should I be thankful that your fling with a married man fail, that's why I still have a chance to go after you? Or should I live fearfully forever knowing that lightning may strike twice at the same spot...

I think she's dumb to think that honesty is the best policy... It's the worst policy in fact. She's selfish in that she is probably saying all these now to make HERSELF feel better. To get something off her chest. If she really cares for him, she will think of how he will feel first before sharing. And if there's a chance he feels bad after knowing the truth, then she should keep quiet forever. Afterall, what can your friend do about her colourful past right?

[remote]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

These words come to mind.

If you want to keep me in the dark, please let me be ignorant forever. If you want to declare your colourful past, please do so before I fall deeply in love with you. Want to get married already then you tell me all these... Should I be thankful that your fling with a married man fail, that's why I still have a chance to go after you? Or should I live fearfully forever knowing that lightning may strike twice at the same spot...

I think she's dumb to think that honesty is the best policy... It's the worst policy in fact. She's selfish in that she is probably saying all these now to make HERSELF feel better. To get something off her chest. If she really cares for him, she will think of how he will feel first before sharing. And if there's a chance he feels bad after knowing the truth, then she should keep quiet forever. Afterall, what can your friend do about her colourful past right?

U read my mind bro...u r spot on my thoughts too.
Now is like as if my buddy is taking in the punishment for the mistake she committed. Just now i saw my bubby i am really heart pain....he taking it very badly.

[CyberRod]

I think the girl did the right thing by coming clean with your friend. But the most important thing is that, is she willing to change for the better? She must realised her mistakes in the past and is devoted to her future partner. If she's still unrepentant... Then no 1 can help her...

1 of my ex-gf was a FL before. I willing to forgive and forget. I never did once brought up her past whenever we quarrel or how bad the quarrel was. She was very very grateful and respected me for that... Actually, contemplating if I should share my story about this ex-gf to warn our dear bros here... Irony right...? Haha.....

Anyway, 2 advices in 2 languages:

1. 谁能无错 (Who has no fault) ?
2. Let those that have not sin cast the 1st stone...

[remote]

Originally Posted by Snuber

Well, tell your fren this

Who doesn't have a past?
The past cannot be changed, but your fren can mould a nice future with her provided BOTH parties are willing to work at that. If your fren cant take the girl's past, then it's better to let go of this r/s as it will always be at the back of his mind. Someday, it will just burst out during 1 of their arguments.

Another point is, if the girl is not serious about your fren, she also wont be so truthful abt it. The truth hurts, but hearing it from the horse's mouth direct beats hearing her past from another person rite......

Age gap is not a strong reason in any r/s. It's the chemistry.......

I think the arguements had started which it had already burst out already which is y he called me this a'noon to pour his heart out.

[remote]

Originally Posted by CyberRod

I think the girl did the right thing by coming clean with your friend. But the most important thing is that, is she willing to change for the better? She must realised her mistakes in the past and is devoted to her future partner. If she's still unrepentant... Then no 1 can help her...

1 of my ex-gf was a FL before. I willing to forgive and forget. I never did once brought up her past whenever we quarrel or how bad the quarrel was. She was very very grateful and respected me for that... Actually, contemplating if I should share my story about this ex-gf to warn our dear bros here... Irony right...? Haha.....

Anyway, 2 advices in 2 languages:

1. 谁能无错 (Who has no fault) ?
2. Let those that have not sin cast the 1st stone...

I respect you too on that bro...last thing in a midst of a quarrel was 翻旧帐来讲 esp. if there r soft spots.

Well...it had been 3 yrs after so i assume nothing major happen...or unless my bubby didnt tell me.

[ahboonah]

Bro, I agree with what most bros had said.

Who does not have a past. I had a frien whose wife is a KTV girl (those can play one) last time. But now they are married happily.

But if your frien cant accept his gf's history, then it is better to let go of this relationship.

[remote]

Originally Posted by ahboonah

Bro, I agree with what most bros had said.

Who does not have a past. I had a frien whose wife is a KTV girl (those can play one) last time. But now they are married happily.

But if your frien cant accept his gf's history, then it is better to let go of this relationship.

I did said the same thing as what bros said: "If u cant accept, let it go." but its very difficult for him...i mean...he is really in love with her but now come this, he is in a real difficult position.

[remote]

Let me blunt it out here...no offence to some people here but honestly lor...i think she got no morale ethic by agreeing to wait n get marry to that married man despite the wife's plead n confrontation.

They r even caught openly in the public...i mean...come on...where is the shame?

I agreed with what bro Xgenre said, if she understand my buddy well enough, her past should be kept unsaid n carry it with her to her grave.

Seeing my buddy literally torturing himself dun make me feel good at all....i am made to swear upon my family name to treat her like before but honestly, i am looking at her with tinted light.
I really wanted to ask him to let it go cos he deserve someone better but his statement to me a yr back "Brother, she is the one for me." stopped me for doing that.

[ManageYou]

In my opinion, if he really can't handle the truth he should forget about her and move on to find someone better. What for live life in agony and regrets?

[joew2005]

live with it ..... & move on.
otherwise,leave it.
there's no 2 ways abt it ..... in a serious relationship.

[Torch_Man]

it seems like, recent years its d boys who cannot handle d truth.
d gal got "guts" 2 inform but d boy dun hv.......

tink abt it:
readin so many "juicy" stories from sbf here, aint ter plenty of fj, bbbj, fb, fl, sugar daddies & lotsa mo hidden stories goin ard in spore, in order 2 make sex is common "exercise"

folks,
WAKE UP.....
men want lust
women need love

what is virgin???
i guess dat fren is still livin in his "own" world


jz sharin
Torch

[tomvoyeur]

I dun like my wife to probe my past. I will not do the same too.

As you said, the past is in the past. Its the present and future that is more impt. The past is just a backdrop....for laughs n nostalgia perhaps.