Techniques to improve self-esteem
10-minute technique
People with poor self-esteem often fail to give themselves enough time and space. So find 10 minutes every day to be alone and to just sit and do nothing.
Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and imagine a country scene or the sight and sound of waves gently lapping against the shore.
During this 10 minutes, allow yourself to feel peaceful and happy. Enjoy this time. It is yours – and yours alone.
Accentuate the positive
Often we make ourselves unhappy because we go over and over mistakes we have made. But we can improve our self-esteem if we re-think the things we believe we have done wrong or badly.
For example, one of my clients has to give presentations at work. He used to be very critical of his performance and would lose sleep afterwards over the tiniest of errors.
But now, he writes an account of each presentation shortly after he's given it and only writes about the things that went well.
He doesn't need to write about the bad things – they will stick in his memory and he will try hard not to repeat them – but he will forget the good things unless he writes them down.
So when you have a horrible day, or something goes wrong in your relationship or at work, write an account of what went right with that episode, not what went wrong.
The results will surprise you – and improve how you see yourself.
List 50 things you like about yourself
If you're seriously lacking in self-esteem, you probably find it hard to think positively about you.
So, try this exercise:
write a list of 50 things that you like and admire about yourself.
This could take weeks, but persevere!
- You can write down your characteristics.
- You can include things about your looks.
- You can even write about the things you do. For example, you may buy a copy of the Big Issue on a day when you're short of money, or you may help an elderly woman in the supermarket when you're rushing to get your own shopping done.
When you have reached your 50 good things, write them down again on small pieces of card that you can carry with you at all times.
You can probably squeeze in 5 points on each card, so that you'll have 10 cards when you're finished.
Then, twice a day, shuffle the cards – so that you can view your good points in a fresh order – and then read them.
If you do this every day, you will start to accept your own goodness and worth.
And if you have a difficult task ahead – like a new date, or a job interview – always read your cards one extra time just before your challenge. This will help you to be more relaxed and optimistic.
jz sharin,
