The word 'esteem' comes from a Latin word that means 'to estimate'. So, self-esteem is how you estimate, or regard, yourself.
And how do you estimate, or regard, yourself?
Try asking yourself these questions.
- Do I like myself?
- Do I think I'm a good human being?
- Am I someone deserving of love?
- Do I deserve happiness?
- Do I feel deep down that I'm an OK person?
People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer yes to all or most of the above. Perhaps you are one of them. If so, what can you do?
Remember – you're uniquely special!
A good way to start improving your self-esteem is to acknowledge that you are special – because there's no one else quite like you.
Not only are your fingerprints and DNA different from everyone else's (unless you have an identical twin), but your mind, and how it thinks and operates, is totally your own.
This means that out of almost 7 billion people in the world, you are a one-off. So if nature has bothered to make you unique, don't you feel you should accept that you're important and also that you have as much right as anyone else to be on this planet?
You have other rights, too. One of them is the right to make mistakes. Don't forget that 'to err is human' – and most of us learn through getting things wrong before we get them right.
Furthermore, we have the right to respect ourselves – and to be respected. And, perhaps most importantly of all, we have the right to say 'yes' or 'no' for ourselves.
Put behaviour in perspective
Unfortunately, lots of people with poor self-esteem really beat themselves up whenever they make a mistake or error of judgement.
They feel that they are 'no good' because they fail an exam, lose a job or because they're having an affair or have been dumped.
But such events – and how we behave about them and deal with them – are just a tiny part of who we are. And it's important to remember that.
It might help too to take on board that individuals with healthy self-esteem don't define themselves by their occasional failures or denigrate their whole beings when things don't go right. Their regard for themselves is based on a bigger picture.
So, if you are prone to deep despair at some aspect of yourself, try telling yourself that it's just a tiny fragment of the multiple layers and components that make up the real you. And try not to condemn the whole of your being when you make a mistake or do something you're not too proud of.
Halt destructive thoughts
Many people with poor self-esteem think they're not very important and that their views carry no weight. Is this you?
If so, try to stop these destructive thoughts because if you go around believing them, you'll encourage other people to believe them too.
Instead, start thinking of yourself as someone who has rights, opinions and ideas that are just as valid as those of anyone else. This will help you to improve your self-esteem.
jz sharin,
